


You, First That I Love

by ambiguously



Category: Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Incorrectly Assumed Character Death, Loyalty, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28399941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambiguously/pseuds/ambiguously
Summary: After Malachor, Rex has a decision to make.
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex/Darth Vader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15
Collections: fandomtrees





	You, First That I Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brightstream](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightstream/gifts).



Rex wonders how many times all of them have written or recorded a message in case a mission went bad, and privately deleted it when things turned out better than expected. He's left four different recordings to be played in the event of his own death. He's erased each one, sometimes while toasting the memory of a friend or brother who wasn't so lucky.

Ahsoka's message waits for him, blinking in one red light on the recorder. "In case I don't come back," she said, and he said she had to come back.

There's a destroyed Sith temple on Malachor, and Ahsoka didn't make it out with Kanan and Ezra. Rex holds the small cup curled in one hand, and mouths the words they always did at the loss of a fallen friend before taking a long drink. Then he presses Play.

Her hologram flickers. The strange sad expression she's been carrying ever since they met up again overflows on her face. _"Hi, Rex. Guess if you're watching this, things didn't go well. There's something you need to know about Anakin. I wish I could have told you in person."_

* * *

His dreams swim with old horrors: Umbara, Mandalore. Waking isn't better but he's an old soldier, used to wearing a grim smile while he performs his duties. The others think he's standoffish out of grief for Ahsoka, and they're not wrong, but none of them has any way of understanding the torment inside Rex's head these days.

_"Even on that first day, I felt him fall. I didn't know for sure that's what I was sensing, and I spent years telling myself I'd felt him die. We all lie to ourselves to cope with the truths we can't face."_

Sixteen damn years she's known, and to be fair to the dead, for most of that time, they've been apart by necessity. But they've been in touch these last several months, and she hasn't said a word.

_"As soon as we engaged Vader's ship, I felt the darkness, and it was familiar. I didn't want to believe even then. I searched for answers in the Jedi Temple on Lothal, and the same answer always came back. If I haven't returned from Malachor, I guess I know for sure now. I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner."_

"You all right?" Zeb asks as they carry equipment to Command together.

"Fine. Just thinking old thoughts."

* * *

He can feel the days slipping past him, and his chances for understanding. His moment comes with a thundercrack of understanding. Hera entrusts the _Ghost_ to him, and he and that ex-Imp who's been mooning around her team take the ship safely back to the base. He's made some friends here, but the closest friends he's got have just signed on for an extended mission on Lothal.

Taking an A-wing while claiming to be headed out on a secret mission is easy. Wiping its memory banks of all prior charts and destinations is second-nature, as is performing the extra scrub to keep the good slicers from digging the information back out again.

Rex has no interest in betraying the Rebellion. Ahsoka liked them, and he has larger goals in mind.

Then it's just a matter of staying alive when he's captured.

* * *

"Lord Vader," says the imperious little tit in command of the stormtroopers dragging him along. "We've brought the prisoner." The troopers shove Rex to the floor and stand back.

He rests there a moment, eyes downcast. He spends one last moment wondering if this is the worst plan he's ever had. He thinks Ahsoka died on this same quest, maybe murdered by this same man, and the reels of the dead with his name stamped on them are long, twisted, and sad.

Rex moves to his knees and looks up at Vader's dark helmet. The mask gives nothing away.

He tilts his head at the stormtroopers and their idiotic commander. "Do they know?"

Vader says nothing. Ahsoka could have been wrong. She could have died finding out she was wrong, that Anakin was long in his grave, if any of the Jedi had graves to speak of, and that Vader was some other dark creature at the Emperor's command. Rex may have thrown away his life for the same case of mistaken identity.

"Leave us," Vader orders, and his men vanish. He stares down at Rex, not speaking.

There's one last question on his mind. "Did you kill her?"

"I offered Ahsoka Tano the chance to join me in serving the Empire. She refused, and perished." Not a yes, not a no, but the answer he had been looking for.

"She always was headstrong, and never knew a good offer when it was in front of her." He bows his head. "I've got my failings, as you know. That's not one of them, my lord."

He waits, staring at the deck plates until he feels the tug of the Force yanking his face up. Vader watches him, but it's Anakin's mind he feels probing his thoughts, looking for the trick. Not the first time he's fingered around inside Rex's brain, and Rex's face warms with the intimate familiarity.

"I swore to follow you. I swore to protect you with my life. My heart beats for you. It always has. Read my mind, sir. You'll know it's true."

The probe deepens, and Rex feels his memories being flipped through like a book: every emotion-filled moment at Anakin's side, every cherished touch, every dream he's had in the years between that he'd said the words he meant to and the regs and the Code be damned. Vader sees this. There is no hiding from him here, no hiding from everything he felt then and feels now beating under his chest as Vader stares at him.

"Rise."

His knees aren't what they were back then but he manages.

"You will return with me to Mustafar."

Rex's heart sinks. "I can do you more good outside of a prison."

Vader turns his helmet. The red lenses of his mask fix on Rex's face. "It is not a prison. It is my home, and it will be your home with me. Come, old friend. We have much to discuss." Vader walks away, headed towards the hangar, and his ship. Rex hesitates one last moment, but he made this decision a long time ago, and there's no chance of changing his mind now.

He follows.


End file.
